dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
