yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
