If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
