At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
