I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
