ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
