oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
