So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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