So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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