"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
