I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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