Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
