Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize