Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
