My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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