dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize