He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
