4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize