the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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