i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
