Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
