he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
