turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
