so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
