There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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