I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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