This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
