I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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