I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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