Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We got so high we made milksteak
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
