Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
