My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
