we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
