I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
