Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Small penises have feelings too.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
