Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
