did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
