wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
