just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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