My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
