I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize