and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't notice because vodka
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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