no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
