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I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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