Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
