i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
