Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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