i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
