Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize