mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
