just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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