i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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