My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize