She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
