did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize