The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
