i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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