Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
