these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
