maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
