I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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