the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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