I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
