You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
