he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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